Birth writing.

In 2012 I bought you 12 Positive Birth Stories, a collection of births, some of them didn't follow the birth plans written by the couples but all of them had a POSITIVE birth experience.

2016 I will publish 'Zen and the Art of Birth.' which will give you some POSITIVE tips for labour and birth. These tips are gleaned from my 35 years experience as a Midwife in the UK and Doula in Singapore attending births.

In Cultures where the FEAR has been removed surrounding labour and birth, the event is easy and the labours short.  Women don't need classes to prepare themselves for labour. They know instinctively that they can TRUST their bodies to birth their babies safely.  When labour starts they Let go and trust their birthing bodies.

Somehow or other over centuries most of us have got lost, we are still frightened of labour and prepare ourselves as if preparing for a marathon, we train our bodies to increase our stamina and prepare our minds by taking as many different Antenatal classes as we can, we sift through all the information which is valid and useful to plan a strategy for labour.

 Don't over think. You trust during pregnancy that your body will follow the pre designed plan so why not for labour and birth as well?

 On another note:
]The Summer holidays are almost over, Schools and universities will be starting new terms in a couple of weeks, the carefree days will end as work begins a new. I am taking my vacation to settle my youngest daughter into University in USA. A new adventure for her, and for me too.

Are you going to find out the sex of your baby during pregnancy?

October 2014.
I don't know about you but when I was pregnant with my first baby we decided not to find out if it was a boy or a girl. Guessing was half the fun. One has to wait until the birth to see the baby anyway so why not have a surprise?
Of course 23 years ago ultrasound scans were scarce with most pregnant women having only 3 in 40 weeks. Today pregnant women can have many more scans and chances to find out the sex during pregnancy. 

In Ancient China they used to use a birth chart to predict the sex of the baby.  The Chinese Lunar Calendar is used to determine the baby's gender.  This particular Ancient Chinese birth chart was discovered  in a 700 year old royal tomb. Some people said that this chart is over 95% accurate in predicting a baby's gender. However today, most people use it mainly for entertainment purposes.

The original copy of ancient Chinese birth chart is now in the Institute of Science in Beijing.

The Chart is based upon the Chinese lunar calendar - not the western Gregorian calendar. To get your lunar age, you will need to do a conversion. (You will need to add a year to your western age, because the Chinese believe that you are one year old on the day you are born.)

You can try this for fun by going onto this site: Ancient Chinese Gender Predictor automatically calculates your lunar age and gives you the baby's gender prediction according to the ancient Chinese birth chart. It uses your age  and the month you conceived. When I put in my 2 pregnancies it correctly predicted both were girls.!!

I used to work with an OBGYN in London who could look at a pregnant woman at 12 weeks and know the sex of her baby by the way she was carrying herself and he was right 100% of the time. My skills are not quite so accurate!

Guessing includes looking at the mother's pregnant shape, where she has gained weight, the direction a gold ring will rotate over the belly, her food preferences during pregnancy and using prediction charts.  Well they have to be right at least 50% of the time!

Relaxation exercise

Greetings. I thought that today I would give you a relaxation & imagery exercise that you can use during labour. Practice makes perfect! You have to get into the right frame of mind to successfully let go and deeply relax.

1. Get into a comfy position, sitting, legs up.
2. shut your eyes and try and make your whole body go floppy.
3. Put your tongue to the roof of your mouth and let you jaw flop.
4. Breathe in through your nose imagining that there is a red balloon when your tummy is. As you are breathing in, fill up the balloon.
5. Slowly breathe out letting the balloon in your imagination deflate as you do. GOOD.
6. Take 2 more breaths like this.

( When you are in labour you can start this when you feel that a new contraction is starting.)

7. Now that you are relaxed I want you to imagine that you are walking across a beach. The sun is out and it feels warm on your back. The tide is low so that as you walk along the sand it leaves footprints.
As the cool water hits your feet you feel even more relaxed. Your whole body responds by relaxing each time you take a step across the sand.
8. The Air is also cool and refreshing. As you breathe in you can smell the ocean. You are relaxed, your labour is progressing and you feel on top of the world.
9. Focus your mind on a time when everything was going right for you in your life and you felt empowered. Re live that positive feeling now. EVERYTHING IS GOING WELL.
10. Continue to imagine that you are walking along the beach feeling empowered, in control of your labour. Look around you at the scenery, picture it in detail as your contraction builds.  Nowlet your body go floppy as you enjoy the beautiful scene around you.

( During the height of each contraction you should let your imagination take you somewhere else while your body relaxes and your breathing slows allowing your birthing body to take over)

11. Let go and let all tension and pressure of this contraction dull into the background of your mind.
12. As the contraction fades you feel relaxed and calm. You can get ready to finish your walk along the beach. Opening your eyes and coming back into the room when you are ready.

Once labour progresses your husband/partner can talk to you and give you imagery that is personal, intimate and funny to help keep you in a deeply relaxed state of mind and body.
There are lots of techniques for relaxation during labour out there, but one of the most successful is Marie Mongan's HypnoBirthing course.

SPRING is here

Congratulations to all Mothers-to-be. I hope that your PREGNANCY is going comfortably?

Spring is here already. I was in France and England a couple of weeks ago where everything was blossoming and the sun was shining. Beautiful.

As a Midwife I want to remind all of you that if during your pregnancy you feel something is not right, an inkling, or gut feeling that your baby is not behaving as you have come to expect PLEASE CALL YOUR DR IMMEDIATELY. It is much better to check and reassure yourself that all is well even if you end up wasting your time because everything is quite normal and on track. We don't mind. Far safer to check. PLEASE.

A reminder about FOODs.
You can't east soft unpasteurized cheese even if it does come from The Four Seasons restaurant! Just because it comes from a fancy place it is still unpasteurized and unsafe during your pregnancy. Better to wait until after your baby is born!!

BIRTH.
I attended a lovely birth a few months ago. Due to be born in hospital the little girl didn't want to wait and was born at home. It was the mother's 3rd baby and a very quick and easy labour. Granny was on hand to take the big Brother and Sister to the pool while I went upstairs to the Condo to deliver the baby. Once safely out and on the breast her Brother, Sister and Granny came to meet her. It was a lovely family moment with the 6 of them.
"The best laid plans of Mice and Men."

I will now Blog every couple of weeks. If anyone is following this I apologise for the slow start! I am now launching my website and am here to answer any PREGNANCY & CHILDBIRTH related questions so email me.

Sincerely
Kiki

Preparing your mind an body for success.

Most athletes will readily advise that Relaxation and Visualisation are crucial to a succesful performance. Sports greats know that stress and tension in the mind equate to stress and tension in the body; the two cannot be spearated. Conqering stress and fear is what allows sports figures to appear to perform so effortlesly.

Clenched fists, a tight mouth, a furrowed brow, all send signals to the birth passage muscles, the very ones that need to be loosened during labour to tighten and fight. Fear, Tension, Pain.  Letting go and relaxing all the upper body will send signals to the lower body parts to do the same.

HypnoBirthing Techniques teach the mother-to-be Breathing, Relaxation, Visialisation and Deepening and thus prepare her mind for the birth process. Learn the techniques but take time to practice every day. There is no subsitute for practice, just reading the book and atending the course is not enough to condition your mind  and body in preraration for birthing.
Conditioning involves your Mind & Body. A runner would never atempt to run a marathon unless his body was well conditioned.

Once you have been taught the techniques establish a daily routine. Select a time to relax when you won't be disturbed. Turn your phone off. Select the same time each day of possible and dedicate yourself to that time.  Choose a comfortable spot that ha soft, dimlighting that you can use daily. Wear comfortable clothes and use the HypnoBirthing CD's or music tha consists of tones and rhythms so that your body can respond to the beat.

Remember that relaxation should become second nature to you. By the time that your body goes into labour for birthing your relaxation response will be automatic. 

Practice does make perfect! 

Feeling Attractive and Looking Good during Pregnancy

All pegnant women have to grapple with body issues, but everyone else sees a woman who is going to have a baby. The times have changed and privately or publicly, modern pregnant women think of themselves-and their condition- as sexy. It is all about being excited about pregnancy,feeling arrtactive and looking good.

Staying cool and comfortable is the most important thing when coosing your wardrobe As your pregnancy advances try to avoid restrictive clothing epsecially over your tummy. Invest in comfortable well fitting underwear, bras and swim suits. You don't want a pregnancy-weggie. Thanks to fluid retention, you will find your feet growing too. This is not the time to be strutting about in stilettos, wear comfortable flats or slip ons to relieve the problem of reaching your feet below that growing tummy!

One of the most impulsive things women do during pregnancy is changing their hairstyle and colour dramatically. I know I did and regretted it all too soon! Due to the presence of your changing hormones the texture of your hair may become thicker or thinner. Playing with your hair may feel like the last bit of control you have over your body that is raging out of control.

 Is it safe to dye your hair?
There are no conclusive studies on the subject of hair dye but most experts agree that you should NOT dye your hair during your First Trimester of Pregnancy. No one really knows whether using chemical dyes during pregnancy is completely safe or not, Ultimately the choice has to be yours. If colouring your hair makes you feel good, go for it. If you choose to colour your hair while expecting then wear gloves or go to a salon where there is good ventilation to minimise your exposure to the harsh chemicals. Alternatively there are vegetable dyes instead.

In addition to the teltail Rosie glow caused by the increased blood flow, pregnancy may cause some  unwanted skin changes. Make up can hide uneven patches of skin or rashes.

No matter what you wear I think that you look amazing.

EMPTY NEST SYNDROME!

My new website is about to launch called Ask Kiki All about PREGNANCY. Yes you have guessed, it is to fill a gap left by my youngest daughter who has just go into Art school in the UK and leaves home in September.

A cliche I know! I do have a great job after all working in an Obstetric clinic in the mornings, patient visits in the afternoons, teaching HyonoBirthing in the evenings and on call for up to 4 births a month but still. I was worried about my afternoons being empty!

 No school pick ups, listening to cheerful chatting, laughing and singing, having nobody to hound to do homework and worry about on a daily basis will be very odd.

And so I will be posting bi weekly Positive information about Pregnancy, labour and childbirth for you to read.